I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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