Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
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Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
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You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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