We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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