can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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