There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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