I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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