It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Randomize