Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
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at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
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Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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