I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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