I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize