you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize