I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize