just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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