His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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