I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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