So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
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I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
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i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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