Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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