We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
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