ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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