Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize