I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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