Say something about gay babies.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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