Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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