dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
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When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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