week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
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If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
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casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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