all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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