addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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