the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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