absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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