when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize