Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
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