Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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