She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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