oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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