nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize