One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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