It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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