Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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