She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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