You don't have asthma, your pregnant
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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