You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
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I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
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Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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