End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize