last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
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She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
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The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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