don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize