Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize