I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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