We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
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It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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