i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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