I think I am morally bankrupt
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize