how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize